Silence in the Face of Evil: How Christian Culture Allows and Encourages Abuse

Allow me to begin with a disclaimer: This is not a slam piece on Jesus or the work of many faithful Christians throughout history and today. Instead, it's a call to attention about this abhorrent reality as well as a call to action to be different. If it makes you uncomfortable, good. You're on the right track.

You probably don't need to be told that the state of the Christian Church in America is sad. The problem is, we're not on the same page as to why. We aren't going to dive into that conversation here, but we are going to talk about one of the biggest threats to heaven on earth: the allowance of abuse in Christian communities and the silence in response to it.

Abuse of all kinds is nothing new. Throughout the pages of the Bible, there is account after account of abuse. We are quick to judge the people of that day, but the same problems still persist. People are used as objects for another person's gain or catharsis in every place on earth. What's comforting to me personally is that God hates abuse. He does not want humans to be used, but to be cherished. Many of the Old Testament wars were in response to the enslavement and oppression of others. God hates abuse, and we should, too.

Most of us do. Our hearts ache at the news as stories of abuse and assault surface. We become outraged at the ideologies being introduced that we perceive as threats to our children. We share long social media posts about how the celebrities and politicians we already don't like have been involved in the abuse or mistreatment of another. We might even throw around a few bad words if an animal is involved.

But we remain silent when these same atrocities arise in our own community.

Look at recent events — if you even know about them. Prominent reformed pastor John MacArthur was recently found to have not only covered up the physical and sexual abuse of children perpetuated by their father, but he and his church also worked to get this man released from jail and shamed his wife for leaving him. 

In a recent documentary and subsequent events that followed, leaders in the Hillsong Church network have also been found to have covered up abuse and failed to fulfill their roles as mandated reporters. 

The Duggar family — the family that had 19 kids and openly followed the teachings of Bill Gothard and the IBLP — has been the center of controversy, too. Josh Duggar, oldest child to Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, admitted to sexually abusing his sisters on multiple occasions as a teen, had an affair, and in December 2021, was convicted of receiving and possessing some of the worst child sexual abuse material known to the FBI. As if that's not bad enough, the trial revealed that Jim Bob Duggar failed to "remember" what exactly happened to his own daughters while he was on the witness stand. It wasn't until the testimonies were shared during the trial that the daughters found out exactly what had happened to them.

Well-known megachurch pastor Mark Driscoll was accused of spiritual and verbal abuse by many in his church with ample evidence. Before a proper investigation could be completed, he resigned from his position, citing a 'vision from God that this was a trap' as his reason for stepping down. He has faced no consequences and is now pastor of a different church.

John Piper, too, has been accused of spiritual and emotional abuse by members and former leaders of his church. These people were told that they were too empathetic and too swayed by the culture of anti-racism.

In my own circles, while cries about the liberal agenda and Disney harming kids abound, there is silence on these events and those like it. Absolute silence.

And if you stop here just to go argue with me about liberals and Disney, you've effectively missed the point.

We are silent when these things happen to or are done by well-known Christians, especially if we previously supported them. We are silent about our LGBTQ+ neighbors being abused in "biblical counseling" and "conversion 'therapy'" because our beliefs about the morality of sexual attraction trump our beliefs about the morality of harming others. We are silent about biblical counseling itself (if we know about its harms) because we think it's still better than "secular" counseling. We are silent in our own churches and communities because we don't want to "rock the boat" or "show favoritism" or because we believe some messed up version of "we're all sinners" or "these are private matters."

What it comes down to is this: If we're going to publicly condemn the evil of "the world" — when Paul said we can't hold them to our standard — then we need to learn how to publicly condemn the evil in our own community.

Otherwise, do we realize the message we're sending? "Victims, we won't protect you. Abusers, you're safe here. We won't say anything."

How is that Christ-like? How is that bringing heaven to earth? How is that protecting the oppressed?

It starts at home. It starts in our own communities. It's not enough to not abuse. Because, guess what? The abused are watching. They are waiting to see if you are going to stand up for them even when you don't know who they are. They are looking for safe people in which to confide. They are alone and isolated. They are looking for that beacon of light that says, "What was done to you was wrong and you are not at fault. I've got your back and I will stand up for you and with you."

Exposing abuse and publicly condemning it is not slandering the Bride — it's protecting it.

We need to be okay with critiquing systems. We need to be okay with critiquing our own culture. We need to be okay with admitting fault and changing course. If we're more concerned about protecting the institution and name of Christianity than continuing the work of Jesus, we are terribly wrong.

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The other aspect we need to address here is what leads to abuse in the first place, specifically in churches. I often hear excuses of, "Well, we're all sinners. We should expect these things to happen." And while I agree to an extent... there are often structures and beliefs in place that not only allow for abuse, but encourage it. There's also another common excuse that is, perhaps, the worst: "The devil always attacks those trying to lead God's people." This is unhelpful and evasive. No matter what, individual people are responsible for the actions they chose. They don't get more sympathy for abusing someone just because we assume the devil was after them. 

All abuse is about power — yes, even sexual abuse, which means that I'm not about to list spaghetti straps as an encourager of abuse. Instead, when we set up church leadership structures that don't distribute the power, abuse is more likely to occur. Here's the tricky part: I've also seen churches that are theoretically set up to distribute the power, but the leadership still doesn't fill those roles. There might be a board of advisors, but the lead pastor still calls the shots and tells them what he's going to do. We need to rethink the way we structure churches, and not just megachurches. We need to take our roles seriously and push back when someone is reaching for more power. Additionally, we need these boards to be diverse. Why is it that elder boards are often comprised of older adult men only? We need to include the voices of women, young people, and those of different racial and ethnic backgrounds. Why? Because we all bring unique perspectives to the table. Our leadership teams should aim to be as diverse as the communities surrounding them.

We also need to have protocols in place on what will happen if someone in leadership is caught in abuse. My personal belief is that this protocol needs to include removal from leadership, involvement from the appropriate authorities if laws have been broken, and professional help for both the abuser and the victim(s). On top of that, it needs to be clear that the church and leadership back the person who was harmed. 

We need to be careful with what we believe. People like Bill Gothard have affected how churches deal with abuse in ways they don't realize. Gothard believes that the victims need to take responsibility for what they did to bring abuse upon themselves. Teachings of the IBLP usually involve what they call forgiveness, though is better described as pretending the abuse never happened. Both of these teachings are incredibly harmful and can only be supported by the Bible through cherry picking verses and warping God's view of sacred humanity. Abusers are responsible for their abuse, not the victims, and they can fully forgive without accepting that person back into their life.

Finally, we need to believe victims. That makes some of you uncomfortable, but it's time. We need to believe people when they have been hurt. We need to believe them no matter how charismatic and knowledgeable and respected the abuser might be. We need to recognize that those qualities alone insulate them from accusations because no one will believe them. Talk about power! The fact is, if you want to be ridiculed, isolated, and called all sorts of terrible names, say you've been abused. Rarely do people lie about abuse because the reality is that they often receive more hatred than the abusers... especially in church. We need to be there, listen, and comfort. We shouldn't ask whether they are "sure that really happened" or "he really said that" or "you really didn't bring it on yourself?" They are sure, and they won't be forgetting the awful details anytime soon. Abused women don't come forward because they don't think they will be believed, and abused men don't come forward because they will be belittled for not being strong enough. All the while, the abusers keep abusing.

To those of you who claim the name of Jesus and are just as heartbroken as I, keep doing what you're doing. This work matters. 

Information on each of the events I mentioned is embedded as hyperlinks. Additionally, Julie Roys is the real MVP. She dedicates her time to investigating these events and bringing them to light while giving a platform for the victims. You can read about her investigations here.